Moving Out 101 – Navigating the Transition to Independent Living (Tips Inside)

Introduction:

Moving out is one of the quintessential markers of the transition to adulthood. The teen or young adult has reached a phase in their life where living at home is no longer sustainable. Whether it’s moving out for college, or for your first big job, or living in a new state, independent living is a launchpad into the “real world”. This transition can be difficult for kids and caring adults alike, both logistically and emotionally. This article will provide insight into the significance of this milestone, and shares some tips for how to best navigate the transition period.

Independent Living – a Meaningful Milestone:

The transition to independent living is a meaningful milestone for both the adolescent and the parents or caring adults. Home-leaving is tied to other markers of maturity, including post-secondary graduation, employment, marriage, and starting a family.

In order for the moving-out process to be smooth and successful, the adolescent and parents/caring adults should prepare months in advance.

Here are some tips that will help the entire family prepare for this next phase:

Gradually Scale Independence in Household (Prior to Moving Out):

Molding a self-sufficient young adult requires exposing them to independence at increasing intervals so that they are able to adjust to increasing responsibilities as they mature. This scaling should begin in the pre-teen years and continue until the teen is ready to leave home. It can look like sharing household responsibilities like laundry, yardwork, trash duty, and making dinner, and can grow to more solo ventures like securing a debit card, a license, or a car.

Appropriate exposure to independence and responsibility helps teens develop self-esteem and confidence in their ability to take care of themselves. That sense of autonomy, ownership, and competence is critical to facilitating a successful transition to adulthood.

Co-Create a Life Skills Checklist:

Prior to the transition to independent living, the young adult and parents/caring adults can partner to create a life skills checklist that can serve as a framework to reference in the first few months on their own.

Below are some ideas for what to include in the checklist:

Housing preparation:

• How to read and understand a lease
• Paying rent, utilities, insurance
• Choosing roommates
• Creating house rules
• Creating a cooking/cleaning/laundry schedule
• Safety measures (alarms, smoke/CO2 detectors, emergency key)

Life preparation:

• Medical records
• Medical numbers
• Emergency numbers
• Budgeting (rent, groceries, disposable)
• Car care, gas, and maintenance
• Conflict resolution skills
• Choosing friends wisely
• Going out/ having fun protocol
• Navigating dangerous or uncertain situations
• Communication protocol w/caring adults (e.g. weekly check-ins)

Words of Wisdom (for adolescents and caring adults)

Communicate openly:

Communication fosters understanding and cooperation. Adolescents, make sure to share any ideas, concerns, or questions you have about moving out with the caring adults in your life. Adults, be sure to use active listening skills and resist the urge to problem solve for your adolescent. Instead, partner with them to work through issues and provide a safe space for them to devise and implement solutions.

Trust yourself:

Moving out means that you are ready for the moment. Trust that you are prepared to handle this next step in adulthood. Parents – trust that you have raised a competent, confident young adult who is capable of thriving in this next phase of life.

Figure it out as you go:

Trusting your ability to successfully navigate challenges and the unknown is the other side of having self-belief. It is impossible to prepare for every situation. Instead know that you have the foundation and support to handle uncertainty as it comes.